Fancy a bit of Rumpy-pumpy?
One night stands. Exciting, dangerous, erotic, disappointing, regrettable, fanciful little delights. Yes, we’ve all had them. No use denying it ladies, as you hide behind your cups of tea and your lovely flowing dresses – we all know of the naughty underwear and joining suspenders that lurk beneath .
There have been many a name for the ladies that like to dabble in the naughty business we speak of. Sluts, whores, all of them degrading.. I like to call them normal.. human. Is it really wrong to participate in a mutual, enjoyable and consensual act of sex with someone that wants exactly the same? No, I personally don’t think so.. but what do you think?
There are many a kind of one night stands, the kind you pay for, the kind you regret, the kind you wanted, the kind you needed, the kind you will always remember, the kind you can’t remember and the kind you wish you could forget – yeah, you know what I’m talking about ladies, and so on and so forth. The most common three, I believe, to be the following:
1. The Lust-cake.
Good title huh? I’m here all week. So, this is the one night stand you find yourself having after a night out, or anything where alcohol may be present, or just with someone you know and fancy it with. You may meet or know a beautiful lady and you hit it off. Through your beer-goggled eyes and alcohol fumed breath nothing sounds better than a night of shared passion, why not? We’re drunk, we’re horny, we’re together, we obviously find each other attractive, how about a bit of rumpy-pumpy? And voila – a one night stand. Beautiful. No strings attached. FUN.
2. The Dumb-fuck.
Now this can come about from the same dangerous poison of alcohol or indeed the even more deadly.. emotional instability, but whatever the cause, it approaches.. like a lamb to the slaughter.. your drunken dumb-fuck. This could be with a total stranger or somebody you already know, perhaps you’re friends, perhaps you’re not but you know they like you.. you’re drunk and/or feeling emotional and they offer their sympathy/company. You jump on them, foolishly and voila.. a dumb-fuck and totally regrettable one night stand.
3. The Fantasy Fuck.
You should probably prepare yourself with wine, chocolates and a hideously depressing playlist for this one. This is the fuck you’ve always wanted and will forever regret. The fuck of all fucks to fuck it up. The fuck most worthy of the word.. could i say fuck any more? Fuck. Anyway, back to it.. this usually comes about when you find yourself in the company of someone you find to be too good to be true, beautiful, witty and completely unobtainable. Sharks circling the water just looking for their prey. They lure you into a sense of false hope with promises and compliments and “you’re different’s” but do not be fooled.. You’ll have your fantasy fuck and they will swim off in search of their next victim, leaving you behind without a care. Voila – Fantasy fuck one night stand complete.
So, yes, some one night stands can be completely torturous, but only if you let yourself fall in to that ever so tempting trap door. On the whole, if you go about it the right way, one night stands can be the pinnacle of pleasure, a welcome treat for both involved, an escape and an adventure. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of pleasure once in a while girlies, go wild, let your hair down, have some fun and don’t be afraid to do so! It’s the 21st century, and man am I loving it